I find that I have a hard time keeping up with the blog. I want to be able to express what I feel, but its hard. So if I ever want to write my thoughts, I will, but until then, I think I will start posting my old writings on this...

A monologue I wrote in HS:


Laura: (stares at an empty chair) Why is that every time I look at you, you turn away. I want to know what you are thinking, but can’t because you hide yourself too much in the world. I want to know what’s wrong in your life. I want to be the person that you can trust. (walks around the empty chair) I want to be the person that you can tell all your problems to. I care about you very much and I don’t want to lose you in anyway. You hide behind that smiling face and are afraid to face yourself in anyway. There is so much that I want to say but I don’t know how. You can’t always just stand with others and be happy like nothing is wrong in your life. During school, you seem so social and when you get home, you hide in your room and won’t talk to anyone. Your parents tried to help you but you pushed them away. You never seem to go out during the weekend. You sulk in your room and cry about everything that is wrong in your life. I want you to
know that you are loved no matter what anyone else has to say. Nothing can change who you are. All you need to do is to open up more to people that you care about. Because if you don’t open up, nothing and I mean nothing will change if you don’t even say what is going on with your life will change. You will become your old self and hide in a shell. You will never learn about life and others. People want to know your feelings. If you don’t open up, people will never understand you at all. You can’t even let anyone in close to you because you don’t trust anyone. People need to know why they can’t know your thoughts. They want to hear you talk and know what you are feeling inside your heart. No one will open up if you don’t either. There will be people in your life that love you but no one will love and care for you as much as I do. (long pause as she sits down in the chair and looks up) I’m sorry. (she looks back down)


P.S. I realized I was so depressed back then...::sigh::